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nobody loses all the time i had an uncle named sol who was a born failure and nearly everybody said he should have gone into vaudeville perhaps because my uncle sol could sing mccann he was a diver on xmas eve like hell itself which may or may not account for the fact that my uncle sol indulged in that possibly most inexcusable of all to use a highfalootin phrase luxuries that is or to wit farming and be it needlessly added my uncle sol's farm failed because the chickens ate the vegetables so my uncle sol had a chicken farm till the skunks ate the chickens when my uncle sol had a skunk farm but the skunks caught cold and died so my uncle sol imitated the skunks in a subtle manner or by drowning himself in the watertank but somebody who'd given my unde sol a victor victrola and records while he lived presented to him upon the auspicious occasion of his decease a scrumptious not to mention splendiferous funeral with tall boys in black gloves and flowers and everything and i remember we all cried like the missouri when my uncle sol's coffin lurched because somebody pressed a button (and down went my uncle sol and started a worm farm) |
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