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the gardener
caitríona o'reilly
the menu warned that fish caught locally
may contain dangerous levels of cadmium
and 1 -- or was it allotropes? --
i didn't care ...
that night, after the lecture,
i sweated through dinner with a clever man
who displayed his cleverness decorously,
like the secretary bird its 2.
like the shine off the poisoned pacific?
and i wondered what dangerous dust i had inhaled,
to make my breath so difficult,
as i lay in the cheap hotel on kearny street,
counting the 5 on a plastic thermometer
and 6 dialling your number
across half the blacked-out globe.
earlier, i'd looked for 7 on alcatraz island
and seen none, and tried to imagine
the suffering of the 8 hoodlum
contemplating the saved in their bliss
across the deadly strait, in the eternal city.
the phone rang out twice in the empty house
as it had rung out so often in that other house,
and my panic was almost theatrical
until your voice, warm and close,
reminded me again of the notes i'd made
of the words of the island's only gardener:
i kept no record of my failures,
and there were many.... the main thing
was to assure some success by trying many things
and holding onto those plants which had learned
that life is worth holding onto,
even at its bitterest.
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