a week passed, and no news arrived of mr. rochester: ten days, and still he did not come. mrs. fairfax said she should not be surprised if he were to go straight from the leas to london, and thence to the continent, and not show his face again at thornfield for a year to come; he had not unfrequently quitted it in a manner quite as 2 and unexpected. when i heard this, i was beginning to feel a strange chill and failing at the heart. i was actually permitting myself to experience a sickening sense of disappointment; but rallying my wits, and 3 my principles, i at once called my sensations to order; and it was wonderful how i got over the temporary blunder--how i cleared up the mistake of supposing mr. rochester's movements a matter in which i had any cause to take a vital interest. not that i 4 myself by a slavish notion of inferiority: on the contrary, i just said -
"you have nothing to do with the master of thornfield, further than to receive the salary he gives you for teaching his protegee, and to be grateful for such respectful and kind treatment as, if you do your duty, you have a right to expect at his hands. be sure that is the only tie he seriously acknowledges between you and him; so don't make him the object of your fine feelings, your 6, agonies, and so 7. he is not of your order: keep to your caste, and be too self-respecting to 5 the love of the whole heart, soul, and strength, where such a gift is not wanted and would be despised."
i went on with my day's business 8; but ever and anon vague suggestions kept wandering across my brain of reasons why i should quit thornfield; and i kept involuntarily framing advertisements and pondering 9 about new situations: these thoughts i did not think check; they might 10 and bear fruit if they could.
mr. rochester had been absent 11 of a fortnight, when the post brought mrs. fairfax a letter.
"it is from the master," said she, as she looked at the direction. "now i suppose we shall know whether we are to expect his return or not."
and while she broke the seal and 13 the document, i went on taking my coffee (we were at breakfast): it was hot, and i attributed to that circumstance a 15 glow which suddenly rose to my face. why my hand shook, and why i involuntarily spilt half the contents of my cup into my saucer, i did not choose to consider.
"well, i sometimes think we are too quiet; but we run a chance of being busy enough now: for a little while at least," said mrs. fairfax, still holding the note before her spectacles.
ere i permitted myself to request an explanation, i tied the string of adele's pinafore, which happened to be loose: having helped her also to another bun and refilled her mug with milk, i said, nonchalantly -
"mr. rochester is not likely to return soon, i suppose?"
"indeed he is--in three days, he says: that will be next thursday; and not alone either. i don't know how many of the fine people at the leas are coming with him: he sends directions for all the best bedrooms to be prepared; and the library and drawing-rooms are to be cleaned out; i am to get more kitchen hands from the george inn, at millcote, and from wherever else i can; and the ladies will bring their maids and the gentlemen their valets: so we shall have a full house of it." and mrs. fairfax swallowed her breakfast and hastened away to commence operations.
the three days were, as she had 16, busy enough. i had thought all the rooms at thornfield beautifully clean and well arranged; but it appears i was mistaken. three women were got to help; and such scrubbing, such brushing, such washing of paint and beating of carpets, such taking down and putting up of pictures, such polishing of mirrors and lustres, such 18 of fires in bedrooms, such airing of sheets and feather-beds on 20, i never 21, either before or since. adele ran quite wild in the midst of it: the preparations for company and the 22 of their arrival, seemed to throw her into 23. she would have sophie to look over all her "toilettes," as she called frocks; to furbish up any that were "passees," and to air and arrange the new. for herself, she did nothing but 24 about in the front 26, jump on and off the bedsteads, and lie on the 27 and piled-up 28 and pillows before the enormous fires roaring in the chimneys. from school duties she was 29: mrs. fairfax had pressed me into her service, and i was all day in the storeroom, 30 (or hindering) her and the cook; learning to make custards and cheese-cakes and french 31, to truss game and 32 desert-dishes.
the party were expected to arrive on thursday afternoon, in time for dinner at six. during the intervening period i had no time to nurse 33; and i believe i was as active and gay as anybody--adele excepted. still, now and then, i received a damping check to my cheerfulness; and was, in spite of myself, thrown back on the region of doubts and 34, and dark conjectures. this was when i chanced to see the third-storey staircase door (which of late had always been kept locked) open slowly, and give passage to the form of grace poole, in 35 cap, white 36, and handkerchief; when i watched her 37 along the gallery, her quiet tread 38 in a list 39; when i saw her look into the 41, topsy-turvy bedrooms,--just say a word, perhaps, to the charwoman about the proper way to polish a grate, or clean a marble mantelpiece, or take stains from papered walls, and then pass on. she would thus 42 to the kitchen once a day, eat her dinner, smoke a moderate pipe on the 19, and go back, carrying her pot of porter with her, for her private 43, in her own gloomy, upper haunt. only one hour in the twenty-four did she pass with her fellow-servants below; all the rest of her time was spent in some low-ceiled, oaken 25 of the second storey: there she sat and sewed--and probably laughed 44 to herself,--as companionless as a prisoner in his 45.
the strangest thing of all was, that not a soul in the house, except me, noticed her habits, or seemed to 46 at them: no one discussed her position or employment; no one pitied her 47 or 48. i once, indeed, overheard part of a dialogue between leah and one of the charwomen, of which grace formed the subject. leah had been saying something i had not caught, and the charwoman remarked -
"she gets good wages, i guess?"
"yes," said leah; "i wish i had as good; not that mine are to complain of,--there's no stinginess at thornfield; but they're not one fifth of the sum mrs. poole receives. and she is laying by: she goes every quarter to the bank at millcote. i should not wonder but she has saved enough to keep her independent if she liked to leave; but i suppose she's got used to the place; and then she's not forty yet, and strong and able for anything. it is too soon for her to give up business."
"she is a good hand, i daresay," said the charwoman.
"ah!--she understands what she has to do,--nobody better," rejoined leah significantly; "and it is not every one could fill her shoes-- not for all the money she gets."
"that it is not!" was the reply. "i wonder whether the master--"
the charwoman was going on; but here leah turned and perceived me, and she instantly gave her companion a nudge.
"doesn't she know?" i heard the woman whisper.
leah shook her head, and the conversation was of course dropped. all i had gathered from it amounted to this,--that there was a mystery at thornfield; and that from 50 in that mystery i was purposely excluded.
thursday came: all work had been completed the previous evening; carpets were laid down, bed-hangings festooned, radiant white counterpanes spread, toilet tables arranged, furniture rubbed, flowers piled in vases: both chambers and saloons looked as fresh and bright as hands could make them. the hall, too, was 51; and the great carved clock, as well as the steps and banisters of the staircase, were polished to the brightness of glass; in the dining-room, the sideboard flashed resplendent with plate; in the drawing-room and boudoir, vases of exotics bloomed on all sides.
afternoon arrived: mrs. fairfax assumed her best black satin gown, her gloves, and her gold watch; for it was her part to receive the company,--to conduct the ladies to their rooms, &c. adele, too, would be dressed: though i thought she had little chance of being introduced to the party that day at least. however, to please her, i allowed sophie to apparel her in one of her short, full muslin frocks. for myself, i had no need to make any change; i should not be called upon to quit my sanctum of the schoolroom; for a sanctum it was now become to me,--"a very pleasant refuge in time of trouble."
it had been a mild, 53 spring day--one of those days which, towards the end of march or the beginning of april, rise shining over the earth as 54 of summer. it was drawing to an end now; but the evening was even warm, and i sat at work in the schoolroom with the window open.
"it gets late," said mrs. fairfax, entering in 55 state. "i am glad i ordered dinner an hour after the time mr. rochester mentioned; for it is past six now. i have sent john down to the gates to see if there is anything on the road: one can see a long way from thence in the direction of millcote." she went to the window. "here he is!" said she. "well, john" (leaning out), "any news?"
"they're coming, ma'am," was the answer. "they'll be here in ten minutes."
adele flew to the window. i followed, taking care to stand on one side, so that, screened by the curtain, i could see without being seen.
the ten minutes john had given seemed very long, but at last wheels were heard; four 57 58 up the drive, and after them came two open carriages. fluttering veils and waving 60 filled the vehicles; two of the cavaliers were young, dashing-looking gentlemen; the third was mr. rochester, on his black horse, mesrour, pilot bounding before him; at his side rode a lady, and he and she were the first of the party. her purple riding-habit almost swept the ground, her veil streamed long on the breeze; 61 with its 62 folds, and gleaming through them, shone rich 63 ringlets.
"miss ingram!" exclaimed mrs. fairfax, and away she hurried to her post below.
the 64, following the sweep of the drive, quickly turned the angle of the house, and i lost sight of it. adele now petitioned to go down; but i took her on my knee, and gave her to understand that she must not on any account think of venturing in sight of the ladies, either now or at any other time, unless expressly sent for: that mr. rochester would be very angry, &c. "some natural tears she shed" on being told this; but as i began to look very grave, she consented at last to wipe them.
a 65 stir was now audible in the hall: gentlemen's deep tones and ladies' silvery accents blent 66 together, and distinguishable above all, though not loud, was the 67 voice of the master of thornfield hall, welcoming his fair and 68 guests under its roof. then light steps 69 the stairs; and there was a tripping through the gallery, and soft cheerful laughs, and opening and closing doors, and, for a time, a 70.
"elles changent de toilettes," said adele; who, listening 71, had followed every movement; and she sighed.
"chez maman," said she, "quand il y avait du monde, je le suivais partout, au 72 et e leurs chambres; souvent je regardais les femmes de chambre coiffer et habiller les 74, et c'etait si amusant: comme cela on apprend."
"don't you feel hungry, adele?"
"mais oui, mademoiselle: voile cinq ou six heures que nous n'avons pas mange."
"well now, while the ladies are in their rooms, i will venture down and get you something to eat."
and issuing from my 75 with precaution, i sought a back-stairs which conducted directly to the kitchen. all in that region was fire and 76; the soup and fish were in the last stage of 77, and the cook hung over her 78 in a frame of mind and body threatening spontaneous 79. in the servants' hall two coachmen and three gentlemen's gentlemen stood or sat round the fire; the abigails, i suppose, were upstairs with their mistresses; the new servants, that had been hired from millcote, were bustling about everywhere. threading this 80, i at last reached the 81; there i took possession of a cold chicken, a roll of bread, some 82, a plate or two and a knife and fork: with this booty i made a hasty retreat. i had 83 the gallery, and was just shutting the back-door behind me, when an accelerated hum warned me that the ladies were about to issue from their chambers. i could not proceed to the schoolroom without passing some of their doors, and running the risk of being surprised with my 84 of victualage; so i stood still at this end, which, being windowless, was dark: quite dark now, for the sun was set and 85 86.
presently the chambers gave up their fair 87 one after another: each came out 88 and airily, with dress that gleamed 89 through the dusk. for a moment they stood grouped together at the other 90 of the gallery, 91 in a key of sweet 92 93: they then 94 the staircase almost as noiselessly as a bright mist rolls down a hill. their collective appearance had left on me an impression of high-born 95, such as i had never before received.
i found adele peeping through the schoolroom door, which she held ajar. "what beautiful ladies!" cried she in english. "oh, i wish i might go to them! do you think mr. rochester will send for us by- and-bye, after dinner?"
"no, indeed, i don't; mr. rochester has something else to think about. never mind the ladies to-night; perhaps you will see them to-morrow: here is your dinner."
she was really hungry, so the chicken and tarts served to divert her attention for a time. it was well i secured this 96, or both she, i, and sophie, to whom i conveyed a share of our repast, would have run a chance of getting no dinner at all: every one downstairs was too much engaged to think of us. the dessert was not carried out till after nine and at ten footmen were still running to and fro with trays and coffee-cups. i allowed adele to sit up much later than usual; for she declared she could not possibly go to sleep while the doors kept opening and shutting below, and people bustling about. besides, she added, a message might possibly come from mr. rochester when she was undressed; "et alors quel dommage!"
i told her stories as long as she would listen to them; and then for a change i took her out into the gallery. the hall lamp was now lit, and it amused her to look over the balustrade and watch the servants passing 97 and forwards. when the evening was far advanced, a sound of music issued from the drawing-room, whither the piano had been removed; adele and i sat down on the top step of the stairs to listen. presently a voice blent with the rich tones of the instrument; it was a lady who sang, and very sweet her notes were. the solo over, a duet followed, and then a glee: a joyous 98 99 filled up the 100. i listened long: suddenly i discovered that my ear was wholly intent on analysing the 101 sounds, and trying to 102 amidst the confusion of accents those of mr. rochester; and when it caught them, which it soon did, it found a further task in framing the tones, rendered by distance inarticulate, into words.
the clock struck eleven. i looked at adele, whose head leant against my shoulder; her eyes were waxing heavy, so i took her up in my arms and carried her off to bed. it was near one before the gentlemen and ladies sought their chambers.
the next day was as fine as its 103: it was 104 by the party to an excursion to some site in the neighbourhood. they set out early in the forenoon, some on horseback, the rest in carriages; i witnessed both the departure and the return. miss ingram, as before, was the only lady 56; and, as before, mr. rochester galloped at her side; the two rode a little apart from the rest. i 105 out this circumstance to mrs. fairfax, who was 106 at the window with me -
"you said it was not likely they should think of being married," said i, "but you see mr. rochester evidently prefers her to any of the other ladies."
"yes, i daresay: no doubt he admires her."
"and she him," i added; "look how she leans her head towards him as if she were conversing 107; i wish i could see her face; i have never had a glimpse of it yet."
"you will see her this evening," answered mrs. fairfax. "i happened to remark to mr. rochester how much adele wished to be introduced to the ladies, and he said: 'oh! let her come into the drawing-room after dinner; and request miss eyre to accompany her.'"
"yes; he said that from 108 politeness: i need not go, i am sure," i answered.
"well, i observed to him that as you were unused to company, i did not think you would like appearing before so gay a party--all strangers; and he replied, in his quick way--'nonsense! if she objects, tell her it is my particular wish; and if she resists, say i shall come and fetch her in case of contumacy.'"
"i will not give him that trouble," i answered. "i will go, if no better may be; but i don't like it. shall you be there, mrs. fairfax?"
"no; i pleaded off, and he admitted my plea. i'll tell you how to manage so as to avoid the 109 of making a formal entrance, which is the most disagreeable part of the business. you must go into the drawing-room while it is empty, before the ladies leave the dinner-table; choose your seat in any quiet nook you like; you need not stay long after the gentlemen come in, unless you please: just let mr. rochester see you are there and then slip away--nobody will notice you."
"will these people remain long, do you think?"
"perhaps two or three weeks, certainly not more. after the easter 110, sir george lynn, who was lately elected member for millcote, will have to go up to town and take his seat; i daresay mr. rochester will accompany him: it surprises me that he has already made so 111 a stay at thornfield."
it was with some 112 that i perceived the hour approach when i was to repair with my charge to the drawing-room. adele had been in a state of 113 all day, after hearing she was to be presented to the ladies in the evening; and it was not till sophie commenced the operation of 114 her that she sobered down. then the importance of the process quickly steadied her, and by the time she had her curls arranged in well-smoothed, 115 clusters, her pink satin frock put on, her long sash tied, and her lace 116 adjusted, she looked as grave as any judge. no need to warn her not to disarrange her 117: when she was dressed, she sat 118 down in her little chair, taking care 119 to lift up the satin skirt for fear she should 120 it, and assured me she would not stir thence till i was ready. this i quickly was: my best dress (the silver-grey one, purchased for miss temple's wedding, and never worn since) was soon put on; my hair was soon smoothed; my sole 121, the pearl brooch, soon assumed. we descended.
fortunately there was another entrance to the drawing-room than that through the saloon where they were all seated at dinner. we found the apartment vacant; a large fire burning silently on the marble hearth, and wax candles shining in bright solitude, amid the 122 flowers with which the tables were 123. the 124 curtain hung before the arch: slight as was the separation this drapery formed from the party in the adjoining saloon, they 125 in so low a key that nothing of their conversation could be 126 beyond a 127 murmur.
adele, who appeared to be still under the influence of a most solemnising impression, sat down, without a word, on the footstool i pointed out to her. i 128 to a window-seat, and taking a book from a table near, endeavoured to read. adele brought her stool to my feet; ere long she touched my knee.
"what is it, adele?"
"est-ce que je ne puis pas prendrie une seule de ces fleurs magnifiques, mademoiselle? seulement pour completer ma toilette."
"you think too much of your 'toilette,' adele: but you may have a flower." and i took a rose from a vase and fastened it in her sash. she sighed a sigh of 129 satisfaction, as if her cup of happiness were now full. i turned my face away to 130 a smile i could not suppress: there was something ludicrous as well as painful in the little parisienne's earnest and 131 devotion to matters of dress.
a soft sound of rising now became audible; the curtain was swept back from the arch; through it appeared the dining-room, with its lit 17 pouring down light on the silver and glass of a magnificent dessert-service covering a long table; a band of ladies stood in the opening; they entered, and the curtain fell behind them.
there were but eight; yet, somehow, as they flocked in, they gave the impression of a much larger number. some of them were very tall; many were dressed in white; and all had a 132 133 of array that seemed to magnify their persons as a mist magnifies the moon. i rose and curtseyed to them: one or two 134 their heads in return, the others only stared at me.
they 135 about the room, reminding me, by the lightness and buoyancy of their movements, of a flock of white plumy birds. some of them threw themselves in half-reclining positions on the sofas and ottomans: some bent over the tables and examined the flowers and books: the rest gathered in a group round the fire: all talked in a low but clear tone which seemed 136 to them. i knew their names afterwards, and may as well mention them now.
first, there was mrs. eshton and two of her daughters. she had evidently been a handsome woman, and was well preserved still. of her daughters, the 137, amy, was rather little: 138, and child-like in face and manner, and 139 in form; her white muslin dress and blue sash became her well. the second, louisa, was taller and more elegant in figure; with a very pretty face, of that order the french term minois chiffone: both sisters were fair as lilies.
lady lynn was a large and 141 personage of about forty, very 142, very 143-looking, richly dressed in a satin robe of changeful sheen: her dark hair shone 144 under the shade of an 145 59, and within the circlet of a band of 146.
mrs. colonel 49 was less showy; but, i thought, more lady-like. she had a slight figure, a pale, gentle face, and fair hair. her black satin dress, her scarf of rich foreign lace, and her pearl 147, pleased me better than the rainbow radiance of the titled 73.
but the three most distinguished--partly, perhaps, because the tallest figures of the band--were the dowager lady ingram and her daughters, blanche and mary. they were all three of the loftiest 148 of women. the dowager might be between forty and fifty: her shape was still fine; her hair (by candle-light at least) still black; her teeth, too, were still 149 perfect. most people would have termed her a splendid woman of her age: and so she was, no doubt, 150 speaking; but then there was an expression of almost insupportable 151 in her bearing and 152. she had roman features and a double chin, disappearing into a throat like a pillar: these features appeared to me not only 153 and darkened, but even 154 with pride; and the chin was sustained by the same principle, in a position of almost preternatural 155. she had, likewise, a fierce and a hard eye: it reminded me of mrs. reed's; she mouthed her words in speaking; her voice was deep, its inflections very 156, very dogmatical,--very intolerable, in short. a crimson 157 robe, and a shawl turban of some gold-158 indian 159, invested her (i suppose she thought) with a truly imperial dignity.
blanche and mary were of equal stature,--straight and tall as poplars. mary was too slim for her height, but blanche was moulded like a dian. i regarded her, of course, with special interest. first, i wished to see whether her appearance accorded with mrs. fairfax's description; 160, whether it at all resembled the fancy miniature i had painted of her; and thirdly--it will out!-- whether it were such as i should fancy likely to suit mr. rochester's taste.
as far as person went, she answered point for point, both to my picture and mrs. fairfax's description. the noble 40, the sloping shoulders, the 161 neck, the dark eyes and black ringlets were all there;--but her face? her face was like her mother's; a youthful unfurrowed 162: the same low brow, the same high features, the same pride. it was not, however, so 163 a pride! she laughed continually; her laugh was satirical, and so was the habitual expression of her arched and haughty lip.
genius is said to be self-conscious. i cannot tell whether miss ingram was a genius, but she was self-conscious--remarkably self- conscious indeed. she entered into a 164 on botany with the gentle mrs. dent. it seemed mrs. dent had not studied that science: though, as she said, she liked flowers, "especially wild ones;" miss ingram had, and she ran over its vocabulary with an air. i presently perceived she was (what is 165 termed) trailing mrs. dent; that is, playing on her ignorance--her trail might be clever, but it was decidedly not good-natured. she played: her execution was brilliant; she sang: her voice was fine; she talked french apart to her mamma; and she talked it well, with 166 and with a good accent.
mary had a milder and more open countenance than blanche; softer features too, and a skin some shades fairer (miss ingram was dark as a spaniard)--but mary was 167 in life: her face lacked expression, her eye lustre; she had nothing to say, and having once taken her seat, remained 168 like a statue in its 169. the sisters were both 170 in spotless white.
and did i now think miss ingram such a choice as mr. rochester would be likely to make? i could not tell--i did not know his taste in female beauty. if he liked the 171, she was the very type of 172: then she was 173, 174. most gentlemen would admire her, i thought; and that he did admire her, i already seemed to have obtained proof: to remove the last shade of doubt, it remained but to see them together.
you are not to suppose, reader, that adele has all this time been sitting motionless on the stool at my feet: no; when the ladies entered, she rose, advanced to meet them, made a stately 175, and said with gravity -
"bon jour, mesdames."
and miss ingram had looked down at her with a mocking air, and exclaimed, "oh, what a little puppet!"
lady lynn had remarked, "it is mr. rochester's 12, i suppose--the little french girl he was speaking of."
mrs. dent had 176 taken her hand, and given her a kiss.
amy and louisa eshton had cried out simultaneously--"what a love of a child!"
and then they had called her to a sofa, where she now sat, ensconced between them, 177 alternately in french and broken english; absorbing not only the young ladies' attention, but that of mrs. eshton and lady lynn, and getting spoilt to her heart's content.
at last coffee is brought in, and the gentlemen are summoned. i sit in the shade--if any shade there be in this brilliantly-lit apartment; the window-curtain half hides me. again the arch yawns; they come. the collective appearance of the gentlemen, like that of the ladies, is very 178: they are all costumed in black; most of them are tall, some young. henry and frederick lynn are very dashing sparks indeed; and colonel dent is a fine soldierly man. mr. eshton, the 179 of the district, is gentleman-like: his hair is quite white, his 180 and whiskers still dark, which gives him something of the appearance of a "pere noble de theatre." lord ingram, like his sisters, is very tall; like them, also, he is handsome; but he shares mary's 181 and listless look: he seems to have more length of limb than vivacity of blood or 182 of brain.
and where is mr. rochester?
he comes in last: i am not looking at the arch, yet i see him enter. i try to concentrate my attention on those netting-needles, on the 183 of the purse i am forming--i wish to think only of the work i have in my hands, to see only the silver 185 and silk threads that lie in my lap; whereas, i distinctly 186 his figure, and i 187 recall the moment when i last saw it; just after i had rendered him, what he deemed, an essential service, and he, holding my hand, and looking down on my face, surveyed me with eyes that revealed a heart full and eager to 188; in whose emotions i had a part. how near had i approached him at that moment! what had occurred since, calculated to change his and my relative positions? yet now, how distant, how far 189 we were! so far estranged, that i did not expect him to come and speak to me. i did not wonder, when, without looking at me, he took a seat at the other side of the room, and began conversing with some of the ladies.
no sooner did i see that his attention was 190 on them, and that i might gaze without being observed, than my eyes were 191 involuntarily to his face; i could not keep their lids under control: they would rise, and the irids would fix on him. i looked, and had an acute pleasure in looking,--a precious yet 192 pleasure; pure gold, with a steely point of agony: a pleasure like what the thirst-perishing man might feel who knows the well to which he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and drinks divine 193 nevertheless.
most true is it that "beauty is in the eye of the gazer." my master's colourless, olive face, square, massive brow, broad and jetty eyebrows, deep eyes, strong features, firm, grim mouth,--all energy, decision, will,--were not beautiful, according to rule; but they were more than beautiful to me; they were full of an interest, an influence that quite mastered me,--that took my feelings from my own power and 194 them in his. i had not intended to love him; the reader knows i had wrought hard to 195 from my soul the germs of love there detected; and now, at the first renewed view of him, they spontaneously arrived, green and strong! he made me love him without looking at me.
i compared him with his guests. what was the gallant grace of the lynns, the languid elegance of lord ingram,--even the military distinction of colonel dent, contrasted with his look of native pith and genuine power? i had no sympathy in their appearance, their expression: yet i could imagine that most observers would call them attractive, handsome, imposing; while they would pronounce mr. rochester at once harsh-featured and melancholy-looking. i saw them smile, laugh--it was nothing; the light of the candles had as much soul in it as their smile; the 196 of the bell as much significance as their laugh. i saw mr. rochester smile:- his stern features 197; his eye grew both brilliant and gentle, its ray both searching and sweet. he was talking, at the moment, to louisa and amy eshton. i wondered to see them receive with calm that look which seemed to me so 198: i expected their eyes to fall, their colour to rise under it; yet i was glad when i found they were in no sense moved. "he is not to them what he is to me," i thought: "he is not of their kind. i believe he is of mine;--i am sure he is--i feel 14 to him--i understand the language of his countenance and movements: though rank and wealth 199 us widely, i have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him. did i say, a few days since, that i had nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his hands? did i forbid myself to think of him in any other light than as a paymaster? 200 against nature! every good, true, vigorous feeling i have gathers 201 round him. i know i must conceal my sentiments: i must 202 hope; i must remember that he cannot care much for me. for when i say that i am of his kind, i do not mean that i have his force to influence, and his spell to attract; i mean only that i have certain tastes and feelings in common with him. i must, then, repeat continually that we are for ever sundered:- and yet, while i breathe and think, i must love him."
coffee is handed. the ladies, since the gentlemen entered, have become lively as 203; conversation waxes brisk and merry. colonel dent and mr. eshton argue on politics; their wives listen. the two proud dowagers, lady lynn and lady ingram, confabulate together. sir george--whom, by-the-bye, i have forgotten to describe,--a very big, and very fresh-looking country gentleman, stands before their sofa, coffee-cup in hand, and occasionally puts in a word. mr. frederick lynn has taken a seat beside mary ingram, and is showing her the engravings of a splendid volume: she looks, smiles now and then, but apparently says little. the tall and 205 lord ingram leans with folded arms on the chair-back of the little and lively amy eshton; she glances up at him, and 206 like a 207: she likes him better than she does mr. rochester. henry lynn has taken possession of an ottoman at the feet of louisa: adele shares it with him: he is trying to talk french with her, and louisa laughs at his blunders. with whom will blanche ingram pair? she is standing alone at the table, bending 208 over an album. she seems waiting to be sought; but she will not wait too long: she herself selects a mate.
mr. rochester, having quitted the eshtons, stands on the hearth as 209 as she stands by the table: she confronts him, taking her station on the opposite side of the mantelpiece.
"mr. rochester, i thought you were not fond of children?"
"nor am i."
"then, what induced you to take charge of such a little doll as that?" (pointing to adele). "where did you pick her up?"
"i did not pick her up; she was left on my hands."
"you should have sent her to school."
"i could not afford it: schools are so dear."
"why, i suppose you have a governess for her: i saw a person with her just now--is she gone? oh, no! there she is still, behind the window-curtain. you pay her, of course; i should think it quite as expensive,--more so; for you have them both to keep in addition."
i feared--or should i say, hoped?--the 210 to me would make mr. rochester glance my way; and i involuntarily shrank farther into the shade: but he never turned his eyes.
"i have not considered the subject," said he indifferently, looking straight before him.
"no, you men never do consider economy and common sense. you should hear mama on the chapter of governesses: mary and i have had, i should think, a dozen at least in our day; half of them detestable and the rest ridiculous, and all incubi--were they not, mama?"
"did you speak, my own?"
the young lady thus claimed as the dowager's special property, 211 her question with an explanation.
"my dearest, don't mention governesses; the word makes me nervous. i have suffered a martyrdom from their 212 and caprice. i thank heaven i have now done with them!"
mrs. dent here bent over to the 213 lady and whispered something in her ear; i suppose, from the answer 214, it was a 215 that one of the anathematised race was present.
"tant pis!" said her ladyship, "i hope it may do her good!" then, in a lower tone, but still loud enough for me to hear, "i noticed her; i am a judge of physiognomy, and in hers i see all the faults of her class."
"what are they, madam?" inquired mr. rochester aloud.
"i will tell you in your private ear," replied she, wagging her turban three times with 216 significancy.
"but my curiosity will be past its appetite; it 217 food now."
"ask blanche; she is nearer you than i."
"oh, don't refer him to me, mama! i have just one word to say of the whole tribe; they are a nuisance. not that i ever suffered much from them; i took care to turn the tables. what tricks theodore and i used to play on our miss wilsons, and mrs. greys, and madame jouberts! mary was always too sleepy to join in a plot with spirit. the best fun was with madame joubert: miss wilson was a poor sickly thing, 218 and low-spirited, not worth the trouble of 219, in short; and mrs. grey was coarse and insensible; no blow took effect on her. but poor madame joubert! i see her yet in her raging passions, when we had driven her to extremities--spilt our tea, 220 our bread and butter, tossed our books up to the ceiling, and played a charivari with the ruler and desk, the fender and fire-irons. theodore, do you remember those merry days?"
"yaas, to be sure i do," drawled lord ingram; "and the poor old stick used to cry out 'oh you 221 childs!'--and then we sermonised her on the 222 of attempting to teach such clever blades as we were, when she was herself so ignorant."
"we did; and, tedo, you know, i helped you in 223 (or persecuting) your tutor, whey-faced mr. vining--the parson in the pip, as we used to call him. he and miss wilson took the liberty of falling in love with each other--at least tedo and i thought so; we surprised 224 tender glances and sighs which we interpreted as tokens of 'la 225 passion,' and i promise you the public soon had the benefit of our discovery; we employed it as a sort of lever to 226 our dead-weights from the house. dear mama, there, as soon as she got an inkling of the business, found out that it was of an 227 tendency. did you not, my lady-mother?"
"certainly, my best. and i was quite right: depend on that: there are a thousand reasons why 228 between governesses and tutors should never be tolerated a moment in any well-regulated house; firstly--"
"oh, gracious, mama! spare us the 229! au reste, we all know them: danger of bad example to 230 of childhood; 231 and consequent neglect of duty on the part of the attached--mutual alliance and reliance; confidence thence resulting- -insolence accompanying--mutiny and general blow-up. am i right, 232 ingram, of ingram park?"
"my lily-flower, you are right now, as always."
"then no more need be said: change the subject."
amy eshton, not hearing or not 233 this dictum, joined in with her soft, infantine tone: "louisa and i used to quiz our governess too; but she was such a good creature, she would bear anything: nothing put her out. she was never cross with us; was she, louisa?"
"no, never: we might do what we pleased; 234 her desk and her workbox, and turn her drawers inside out; and she was so good- natured, she would give as anything we asked for."
"i suppose, now," said miss ingram, curling her lip 235, "we shall have an abstract of the 236 of all the governesses extant: in order to 237 such a visitation, i again move the introduction of a new topic. mr. rochester, do you second my motion?"
"madam, i support you on this point, as on every other."
"then on me be the 238 of bringing it forward. signior eduardo, are you in voice to-night?"
"donna bianca, if you command it, i will be."
"then, signior, i lay on you my sovereign behest to furbish up your lungs and other 239 organs, as they will be wanted on my royal service."
"who would not be the rizzio of so divine a mary?"
"a 140 for rizzio!" cried she, tossing her head with all its curls, as she moved to the piano. "it is my opinion the fiddler david must have been an 240 sort of fellow; i like black bothwell better: to my mind a man is nothing without a spice of the devil in him; and history may say what it will of james hepburn, but i have a notion, he was just the sort of wild, fierce, bandit hero whom i could have consented to gift with my hand."
"gentlemen, you hear! now which of you most resembles bothwell?" cried mr. rochester.
"i should say the preference lies with you," responded colonel dent.
"on my honour, i am much obliged to you," was the reply.
miss ingram, who had now seated herself with proud grace at the piano, spreading out her snowy robes in queenly amplitude, commenced a brilliant 241; talking meantime. she appeared to be on her high horse to-night; both her words and her air seemed intended to excite not only the 242, but the 243 of her 244: she was evidently bent on striking them as something very dashing and daring indeed.
"oh, i am so sick of the young men of the present day!" exclaimed she, 245 away at the instrument. "poor, 246 things, not fit to stir a step beyond papa's park gates: nor to go even so far without mama's permission and 247! creatures so absorbed in care about their pretty faces, and their white hands, and their small feet; as if a man had anything to do with beauty! as if loveliness were not the special 248 of woman--her 249 appanage and heritage! i grant an ugly woman is a 250 on the fair face of creation; but as to the gentlemen, let them be 251 to possess only strength and valour: let their motto be:- hunt, shoot, and fight: the rest is not worth a fillip. such should be my device, were i a man."
"whenever i marry," she continued after a pause which none interrupted, "i am resolved my husband shall not be a rival, but a foil to me. i will suffer no competitor near the throne; i shall exact an undivided 252: his devotions shall not be shared between me and the shape he sees in his mirror. mr. rochester, now sing, and i will play for you."
"i am all obedience," was the response.
"here then is a corsair-song. know that i doat on corsairs; and for that reason, sing it 1 spirito."
"commands from miss ingram's lips would put spirit into a mug of milk and water."
"take care, then: if you don't please me, i will shame you by showing how such things should be done."
"that is offering a 253 on incapacity: i shall now endeavour to fail."
"gardez-vous en bien! if you 204 254, i shall devise a proportionate punishment."
"miss ingram ought to be 255, for she has it in her power to 256 a 257 beyond mortal endurance."
"ha! explain!" commanded the lady.
"pardon me, madam: no need of explanation; your own fine sense must inform you that one of your frowns would be a sufficient substitute for capital punishment."
"sing!" said she, and again 258 the piano, she commenced an accompaniment in spirited style.
"now is my time to slip away," thought i: but the tones that then 259 the air arrested me. mrs. fairfax had said mr. rochester 260 a fine voice: he did--a 261, powerful 262, into which he threw his own feeling, his own force; finding a way through the ear to the heart, and there waking sensation strangely. i waited till the last deep and full 263 had expired--till the tide of talk, checked an instant, had resumed its flow; i then quitted my sheltered corner and made my exit by the side-door, which was fortunately near. thence a narrow passage led into the hall: in crossing it, i perceived my sandal was loose; i stopped to tie it, kneeling down for that purpose on the mat at the foot of the staircase. i heard the dining-room door unclose; a gentleman came out; rising hastily, i stood face to face with him: it was mr. rochester.
"how do you do?" he asked.
"i am very well, sir."
"why did you not come and speak to me in the room?"
i thought i might have retorted the question on him who put it: but i would not take that freedom. i answered -
"i did not wish to disturb you, as you seemed engaged, sir."
"what have you been doing during my absence?"
"nothing particular; teaching adele as usual."
"and getting a good deal paler than you were--as i saw at first sight. what is the matter?"
"nothing at all, sir."
"did you take any cold that night you half drowned me?"
"not she least."
"return to the drawing-room: you are deserting too early."
"i am tired, sir."
he looked at me for a minute.
"and a little 264," he said. "what about? tell me."
"nothing--nothing, sir. i am not depressed."
"but i affirm that you are: so much depressed that a few more words would bring tears to your eyes--indeed, they are there now, shining and swimming; and a 184 has slipped from the 52 and fallen on to the flag. if i had time, and was not in mortal 265 of some 266 prig of a servant passing, i would know what all this means. well, to-night i excuse you; but understand that so long as my visitors stay, i expect you to appear in the drawing-room every evening; it is my wish; don't neglect it. now go, and send sophie for adele. good-night, my--" he stopped, bit his lip, and 267 left me.
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